As the mother of a teenage girl, a teenage boy, and a former teenage girl, I have qualified myself as an expert on the matter of teenage girls.
Not only am I the mother of one, but I have taught teen girls at church for the past 10 years.
There is a serious problem going on with teenage girls today…
They have lost their identity and their self-respect.
Girls are basing their identity on who they hang out with or worse, who they are dating. It breaks my heart to see girls that are so consumed with boys that they sell themselves short or compromise their own character to be accepted. There is such a feeling of worthlessness going around and it is time to defeat it!
Girls, you are a precious treasure and you are to be respected and treated with dignity. Do not settle for anything short of that.
Dating is not that important at your age and at the risk of sounding old fashioned, dating is not for recreation. It is to find your future spouse.
I had a teacher in high school tell me to never date someone that I wouldn’t marry and at the time her words went in one ear and out the other. I made way too many mistakes as a teenage girl and would give anything to go back with the knowledge I have now and change some things.
You are the one who should be pursued by the boy not the other way around.
Girls, you are so much more than what group you fall into at school, who your friends are, or being so and so’s girlfriend.
Trends come and go, don’t submit to them if it means altering your identity. Often times, the effects of the trend last longer than the trend itself.
The bible says you are a child of God. In Proverbs 31:10, the virtuous woman is said to be far better than rubies. Your goal in life should be working toward being a virtuous woman not landing the hottest guy in school or being in the “popular” crowd.
Don’t worry about boys and social status because in 10 years none of that will matter.
Often times, those kids who were so popular in high school, have trouble moving past high school. They get out in the real world and realize they are no more special than anyone else and they don’t like it because their worth was built upon social status.
Base your worthiness on being a child of God rather than whether you were popular or not, because that will stick with you no matter where you go.
The decisions you make now will have a great impact on your future. Making good choices are essential. One bad decision can alter your life forever.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope Jeremiah 29:11
Take comfort in the fact that your future is in the hands of God. He has laid it out before you and all you have to do is stay on the path that leads to that future. If you get off that path, find your way back as soon as possible.
I also have a teenage son and have had teen boys coming and going for years. I have witnessed their behavior and I assure you girls, you are the last thing on their mind.
Girls are not their priority, don’t make them yours.
While you are consuming yourself with thoughts of boys, those boys are hanging out with their friends having a good time. They are playing basketball, tossing around a football, or deep into a video game with their little headsets on.
They don’t want a girl who likes all the same stuff they do. They might hang out with a girl like that but that is not who they are going to want to date.
They are NOT romantic!!! Quit getting ideas on how love should be from books and movie!!! Read my post on that here. A cute snapchat is about as romantic as they get. Yes there are a few exceptions to this stereotype but not many so odds are you are not going to luck out with one of those rare gems.
My son and I have discussed girls and how he feels and honestly he is just not interested enough to sacrifice anything that he enjoys. Yes he likes to look at them but that is about all.
Boys mature in the sense of relationships a lot slower than girls do so quit taking it personal when the “love of your life” does not act the way you think he should.
A lot of boys are close to their Moms and they will want a girl that pleases those Moms!
REMEMBER THIS WHEN FACED WITH THAT DECISION THAT WE ALL KNOW TOO WELL. If the boy has true feelings for you, saying no WILL NOT make or break the relationship but saying yes can break your reputation for years to come!
Believe it or not, your teenage years are some of the best of your life. When I reflect on those years, I think of all the fun I had with my friends, I don’t think about or care about the “relationships” that I had back then.
Now is the time to find out who you are and who you want to be. Do the things you love to do, hang out with the friends that bring you joy, don’t waste your time on friends that you have to change for.
You have the rest of your life to be married, spend your teen years just being an individual with goals and dreams.
Key points that I want you to take with you everywhere you go are…
- First and most important…Love God, love yourself, and love others
- Take time to find out who you are, what you like, and what makes you special
- Be the you that makes you love yourself
- Work towards being the virtuous woman of the Bible
- The most attractive quality in a lady is self-confidence
- Make good choices
- Don’t waste too much time on boys
- These years are what you make them, make them extraordinary
- These years are also the years that mold the foundation of the future you
- Don’t compare yourself to others
- Be extraordinary