How in the world women raise teenage girls without being checked into an institution is beyond me!
Without God, I would already be in therapy. My daughter is only 13 and somedays I feel as if I am never going to make it through these turbulent years. Luckily, I have a lot of friends who have raised their daughters and can guide me through this whole process. Though I am just starting out, there are several things that I have learned…some the hard way.
- You must have patience.
- You need a BIGGER attitude then hers.
- You must be thick skinned.
All of these things are easier said than done, especially when you are having a fat day and your daughter says “Mom! You’re not wearing THAT are you!?”
Or when you tell her to do something 27 times yet she is sitting there with her nose in her phone acting like she never heard you.
And then there’s the time that she inadvertently told me that someone else’s cooking was better than mine. Yea I cried!
I hate having to whip out my attitude, but I assure you it’s a doozy (considering I have been working on it for 30+ years) and it gets the job done!
Daughters can be our best friends and the biggest blessings on our lives but there will be HARD times. They will hurt your feelings. They will break the rules and they will most definitely make mistakes. But they will also need a shoulder to cry on, someone to support them, and someone to confide in.
A mother/daughter relationship is unlike any other relationship out there. It is a constant work in progress, but the more you work at it the more beautiful it gets.
Some important things that a daughter needs to learn from their mother are:
- She belongs to God
- She is beautiful
- She is special
- She is talented
- She is valuable
- She is capable of anything
Things of the world that she needs to prepare for:
- Peer pressure
- Saying no to drugs
- Saying no to sex
- Having self-respect
- Having self-worth
- Dealing with other girls
- Avoiding bad or dangerous situations
We must prepare our daughters for life in this world so that they have confidence in themselves and who they are. This enables them to make wiser choices when faced with the evils of the world. They also need to know that we are there for them regardless of their decisions. We need to be there to give them a high-five when they took a stand for what they believe in, and be there to hold them when a bad decision has caused them pain.
Though most of our resources are God given, I have found several things that have assisted in our mother/ daughter journey so far.
- A mother/daughter journal– My daughter is very modest. Now she loves to talk to me about boys, but the topic of genitals or sex comes up, and she is nowhere to be found. We use to have to refer to her boobies as UGP’s (upper girl parts) because she did not like any of the words that people use.I was so worried that there were things she would not tell me about, and then I found this book. It is wonderful!!! We write back and forth, and she feels more comfortable to tell me things that are hard to say to my face. It gives you prompts to discuss, or you can just write whatever you want. This works both ways. For example, if your daughter hurts your feelings, you can tell her in the book, and avoid an argument or more attitude. Instead, she will more than likely see her mistake and feel bad. So far, it has been about issues with friends but this book has definitely been a blessing to our relationship and I would recomend it to all mothers and daughters.
- More To Be– This is an amazing faith based blog that has endless resources to equip and prepare moms for all sorts of things from purity to dealing with social media. I absolutely love this website and encourage every mom out there to join! I also use her resources for my girls bible classes.
- A first period kit– This is the neatest idea that I have ever seen. You can either make your own or this is a cute one, that is already put together. As I mentioned, she hates talking about this kind of stuff. When I have tried to discuss this, in order to prepare her, she tells me “mom, stop!” I made my own kit to give her (when it finally happens) that contains this book she can read to learn more.
Here are some things that I included in her first period kit along with some chocolate, a period chart, hand sanitizer, feminine wipes, and an inspirational note.
Motherhood is not always easy but it is one of the greatestest blessings there is!!!!
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